Hello my naughty little knitters, Pearl here.
Hope you’ve been enjoying the nice weather – and with that in mind, I thought I’d bring all you lovelies up to speed on my recently launched campaign to get fit.
I did mention it last time, but this armchair yoga has become something of a talking point – research from the British Heart Foundation (which has the best interests of old folks like us at heart) suggesting doing a spot of sitting down exercise can be good for the old ticker!
Tell you what – I never realised there were so many different poses! I’ve started to be a bit of a flirty girty with Benny and asked him to join me for a spot of heel digging!
And he obliged … by digging in his heels and having nothing to do with it!
Oh but once I got Frau to ditch the wheels for an evening and join me for a yoga session in front of the telly … well didn’t we have a laugh, shaking our bingo wings at that lovely David Dimbleby.
He’s a bit of a hottie. I’m thinking of knitting him a lovely tie to wear on Question Time. What do you think?
Natty exercises for knitters
So having tried the yoga, which helped with the circulation in my old legs – I decided to throw in a few exercises for knitters. Give these a go my dears and let me know how you get on. They certainly loosen up the joints.
And with fingers nicely limbered up, I decided to get some inspiration from the Interweb about keeping myself trim.
Amazing what you find out. Apparently, elderly people who exercise live ‘five years longer’. I’m wondering if bending down to pick up these balls of wool counts considering the many times a day I have to do it.
I skipped over the bit about giving up smoking, well, I was getting cigarette ash all over my son’s keyboard – he wouldn’t thank me for that, especially if it involved getting IT to look at it!
Still, with the nicer weather I decided I’d try and find a few classes I could drag Frau along to. I’d love to have a J-Lo or Beyoncé bum, but not sure shaking my booty is the right thing to do at my age – beside, look at the state of this old biddy, how embarrassing … and that’s just the outfit!
Having dismissed the Zumba thing (I’d rather be dipping my chips into a salsa than trying to dance it) I thought about something to get me out in the open air.
I have to admit that I was inspired by American lady Harriette Thompson, who at 92 years young, was recently the oldest woman to complete a Marathon.
I almost get asthma just thinking about it. She would have looked more the part though with a nice fashionable knitted vest. Maybe I’ll post one (although Mr Miser reckons postage to the States would cost a fortune, miserable old devil).
He and a few other people think I’m a little bit gullible, and I’ve been told by many to toughen up – particularly when it comes to saying ‘No’ occasionally when it comes to looking after the grandkids.
Now I’m not suggesting that the family take me for granted all the time, but I’m going to tell them about World Elder Abuse Day on June 15.
Been reading about the shocking statistics surrounding old people, and the fact that two thirds of those abused in older age are woman –including everything from emotional abuse, neglect and even stalking (that reminds me, I must put Bill’s binoculars back before he realises they’re missing!)
So, other than hiring a hunky bodyguard to look after me, I’m going on a crash course at the local community centre to learn a spot of self-defence for seniors … knitting needles at the ready, don’t mess with Pearl!
In the meantime, us oldies have been given some tips to make us less vulnerable when going about our daily business:
- Don’t overload your arms with shopping bags
- Park and walk in well-lit areas.
- Before leaving your car or a shop, check your surroundings closely, especially if the area is unfamiliar, so you know where to go for safety.
- Always have your keys in hand, one finger looped through a key ring, when walking to the car or door.
- Walk with purpose. Don’t look at the ground; look around you.
- Carry as little cash and credit cards as possible.
- Visit the bank during the day
- Don’t open your door to a stranger. Look out a window or keyhole first, and, if necessary, speak through the door.
I say run ‘em over with your shopping trolley!
Take care lovies..